Are u lonely overseas?
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To me, holiday at any countries is always fun, but when comes to settle down or woking, more or less will feel lonely. Not sure about others, but to me, home is always the best, its where all my memories lies.
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Originally posted by jetta:
Only if I can take all my fave TV stations with me, and all fish taco I can eat, and the casinos, the outlets...
you're missing out on the best bit: the cold weather!
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See I have a very different perspective compared to most of you. Home is where I feel I belong, so I feel very at home when I'm in London. Indeed, I always feel somewhat out of place when I return for the holidays; the 1st few days back in Singapore is guarenteed to see me in a blue funk, if not an inexplicible rage. If I were to go on memories then Singapore has nothing going for me anyways, because all my memories about the place are bad, despite the fact that only 20% of my life's been spent in London.
The1st day I arrived in London, I already felt at home, and not lonely at all. The people here were very warm, welcoming, friendly, and made an attempt at breaking the ice. It's probably a cultural thing, because in my past experience, Singaporeans in the same situation would keep to themselves, which could be why most typical Sinaporeans would feel lonely when they go overseas. Personally within a couple weeks I was already well integrated with the locals and certainly having a ball.
Of course not to detract or criticise any of you, but how one's overseas experience is, depends on perhaps 3 things ultimately:
1) The culture of the place u're going to.
2) What sort of personality and person you are in general with regards to your feelings about Singapore.
3) Whether your departure from Singapore was willing, or due to circumstances.
I can say that personally, seeing myself as being Singaporean by birth only, and a rather unfortunate circumstance at that, I do not have any problems leaving it behind for a place that is much better and suits me more, nor do I have any problems mixing in with my adoptive home and it's people.
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Originally posted by 4Justice:
See I have a very different perspective compared to most of you. Home is where I feel I belong, so I feel very at home when I'm in London. Indeed, I always feel somewhat out of place when I return for the holidays; the 1st few days back in Singapore is guarenteed to see me in a blue funk, if not an inexplicible rage. If I were to go on memories then Singapore has nothing going for me anyways, because all my memories about the place are bad, despite the fact that only 20% of my life's been spent in London.
The1st day I arrived in London, I already felt at home, and not lonely at all. The people here were very warm, welcoming, friendly, and made an attempt at breaking the ice. It's probably a cultural thing, because in my past experience, Singaporeans in the same situation would keep to themselves, which could be why most typical Sinaporeans would feel lonely when they go overseas. Personally within a couple weeks I was already well integrated with the locals and certainly having a ball.
Of course not to detract or criticise any of you, but how one's overseas experience is, depends on perhaps 3 things ultimately:
1) The culture of the place u're going to.
2) What sort of personality and person you are in general with regards to your feelings about Singapore.
3) Whether your departure from Singapore was willing, or due to circumstances.
I can say that personally, seeing myself as being Singaporean by birth only, and a rather unfortunate circumstance at that, I do not have any problems leaving it behind for a place that is much better and suits me more, nor do I have any problems mixing in with my adoptive home and it's people.
Strange you mentioned how warm the Brits in London are because I had quite a few Filipino nurses tell me that they felt more welcome and at home in the UK than they do here. At least, when they were new in their workplaces in the UK, their British colleagues took time to chat with them, tell them about the neighbourhood, and a few even got taken around on outings and drives! But when they arrived here to work, they found the Aussie nurses more standoffish, mostly not interested in you at all, and forget about them taking their time off to bring you around.
I've never been to the UK so I can't comment but it's indeed telling to hear from that many people, all with positive experiences with the UK.
Hmm... come to think of it, the few close colleagues I do have happen to be Brits! They are the ones who tend not to judge us because of the colour of our skin and they will laugh along with me and we can talk freely about anything... food, men, dating, sex, money, family life, etc.
Of course I do have a few Aussie friends as well but in general, I have found it easier to relate to the British, compared to the 'purebred' Caucasian Aussies.All said, I'm not exactly keen to return to Singapore. I do miss my close friends and my family, and of course the food. But the weather sucks, the crowds suck, the waiting and queuing and fighting to get on board public transport suck, and most importantly, the lack of respect for employees in the workplace and the high cost of living just royally suck.
I am proud to be a Singaporean... but strangely, my pride burns the strongest when I'm offshore!
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Originally posted by udontknowme:
actually, when you first move, no matter how many people or who you are around, there will be days when you will just feel lonely.
it's not a matter of making friends etc...you can still feel lonely when you're around hundreds of people or when you have a million things going on.but it's good to have someone to talk to on days like that. be it a family member, an old friend 'from home' or someone who will hopefully understand your situation...
there are some people who move and really NEVER make any friends in the' new' country. but that's usually because they don't socialize in any way at all. if you move and get a job or attend school, chances are, you'll make friends anyhow. esp good if you at least somewhat know someone there already. like...a friend's friend or something...
of course there are other reasons for not having friends. lousy personality, mental disorders of various sorts, i-hate-people, just pure bad luck....
I think the Singaporean students (and other foreign students) are pretty lucky because there are so many Singaporeans studying here at any one time in any university that they are able to herd together and go places, do things, talk Singlish together.
At times, I feel displaced, but the feeling is increasingly dissipating simply because I've made new friends, I've settled in, and I've grown to love Melbourne. It helps that I chose to move out of Singapore and that this move is the ultimation of several years of careful strategic planning and mucho painful sacrifice.
I finally feel blissful and content most days. I've always felt angstsy and sorta simmering-angry all the time in Singapore. Maybe, I truly hate the rat race, and more than that, I hated the kind of working life that we all had to endure - long hours at work, unreasonable treatment and demands you can't quite complain about cause nobody cares cause everyone else is deep in their own shithole anyways, and then coming home from work to a pile of bills and thinking that you're really no better than a slaving buffalo and it's a really sad hand-to-mouth existence with no time to stop and smell any (trampled) roses. I say trampled because there are simply too many heads per sq m on the entire bloody island for the poor roses to thrive nicely. 
Sure, there are moments of loneliness, moments of longing for my friends and family back home, but everyday I spend at home is a peaceful, happy day.
It's sooo important too because if you're happy with your home, you have a restful respite and solitude that kinda balances you out. That, and the icing on the cake is the awesome fact that I have so many days off per week that anytime I feel work is starting to be too much to handle, I have a day or two off and then when I return to work, I feel recharged and ready to face whatever challenges I have to endure. I feel back in SG, unless I marry rich, I will never be able to have the kind of life I want - equal parts work and equal parts play. Here, I'm still not reach but hey, I'm already living the life I want.
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Originally posted by 4Justice:
you're missing out on the best bit: the cold weather!
So say you.
Some of us don't like the cold.
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Rhonda: My own theory is that the Brits have already kinda "seen it all" They've had an empire and then lost it, and in the process have been exposed to various different cultures much earlier than many other nations, thus have had the circumstance to "force" them to evolve into a more tolerant people at an earlier stage than many other countries.
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Rhonda, what profession are u in?
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Originally posted by SPLIT SECOND:
Rhonda, what profession are u in?
I'm a Division 1 Registered Nurse.
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Originally posted by Rhonda:
I'm a Division 1 Registered Nurse.
In other words, be nice to missy otherwise she is going to give you a painful jab in your butt!!!
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Originally posted by honeymouse:
In other words, be nice to missy otherwise she is going to give you a painful jab in your butt!!!
I'm not so evil one!!
And I'm good at giving injections that don't hurt so much. At least, that's what my patients tell me.
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Originally posted by Rhonda:
I'm not so evil one!!
And I'm good at giving injections that don't hurt so much. At least, that's what my patients tell me.
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Originally posted by Rhonda:
I'm a Division 1 Registered Nurse.
i am actually tired of melbourne. Now missing my family. Should i go back to sing?
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Originally posted by SPLIT SECOND:
i am actually tired of melbourne. Now missing my family. Should i go back to sing?
go lor. no point u being miserable and i dont think any country would want to adopt people who dont fit into their culture anyways, its the surefire way to disaster and greater social problems.
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The way I see it, if one is prepare to accept changes and take the initiative to break the ice with the fellow next to you, no one should really have problem socialising with the locals.
Talking about feeling displaced, about 4 years, I went to an interview in a mining town. The town is in the middle of woop woop with a total population of 4000-5000. 40 percent of the town shares the same family name. As I drove past town, the local were staring at me without flinching. It was as if they have not seen a Singaporean before. In the local pub, their mentality of Chinese is that all Chinese knows kungfu. I though it was hilarious. I actually end up taking that job.
Most Aussie activities revolve around beers. At the end of the working day, most miners would sit around the pub having a couple of beers before dinner. It is usually the only social activity after work with the exception of perving at the new nurse or the few female truck drivers on site. It is pathetic. Ratio of male to female should be close to 15:1. You can either choose to socializes with your co-workers or go to bed. Work is considered entertaining this way.
To all lonely or bored shitless souls in Oz, anyone keen on doing adventure racing.
To me, Christmas seasons and other special holidays can get pretty lonely here if you are single & dateless. Nighttime is bad.
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Sometimes, yes.
However, I work rather long hours. That takes my attention off for a while.
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Originally posted by ben1406:
Lonely ? not at all.. My experiences in socialising ? hmmmm, getting hammered with friends and trying to get lucky ?
I'm lucky to have a huge group of friends here, we do almost everything from paintballing, golfing, getting drunk quite often, camping... etc etc.
to reply to this thread again... the only time i feel very lonely are during the holidays. Eg, Christmas, Thanksgiving... I try to work extra shifts if i don't have any dinner plans.
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Originally posted by whitsundays:
Talking about feeling displaced, about 4 years, I went to an interview in a mining town. The town is in the middle of woop woop with a total population of 4000-5000. 40 percent of the town shares the same family name. As I drove past town, the local were staring at me without flinching. It was as if they have not seen a Singaporean before. In the local pub, their mentality of Chinese is that all Chinese knows kungfu. I though it was hilarious. I actually end up taking that job.
This para made me lol so hard, I love the description!
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I love fishing .... and back in pluto, the best fishing's waaaaaaay up north ... in the canadian shield country ....
I'd drive for 4-5-10 hours to get up there ... stopping on those one horse towns for pitstops ..... and sometimes, we'd stop by those rural eateries for burgers and fries (with gravy, no less !)
at some places, they were very nice ... at some places, they were outright hostile ... they all stared of course ....
but it was this one incident in 05 that stuck in my mind ... I was on my way to a friend's summer cabin by a lake for the weekend, and i stopped by a small town for gas .... I was pumping gas when a little girl and her folks walked out of the gas station shop ....
she looked at me .. *tugged her mommy's arm ... and said "look mommy .... an asian !" ....
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Originally posted by Fatum:
I love fishing .... and back in pluto, the best fishing's waaaaaaay up north ... in the canadian shield country ....
I'd drive for 4-5-10 hours to get up there ... stopping on those one horse towns for pitstops ..... and sometimes, we'd stop by those rural eateries for burgers and fries (with gravy, no less !)
at some places, they were very nice ... at some places, they were outright hostile ... they all stared of course ....
but it was this one incident in 05 that stuck in my mind ... I was on my way to a friend's summer cabin by a lake for the weekend, and i stopped by a small town for gas .... I was pumping gas when a little girl and her folks walked out of the gas station shop ....
she looked at me .. *tugged her mommy's arm ... and said "look mommy .... an asian !" ....
wow ! u really drive far eh for fishing. i got to do that sometime soon, driving up that is. the furthest north i've been is about 6hrs north of toronto.
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Originally posted by ben1406:
wow ! u really drive far eh for fishing. i got to do that sometime soon, driving up that is. the furthest north i've been is about 6hrs north of toronto.
up in shield country, the fish are so stupid, you can catch two on the same lure .... v
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Originally posted by Fatum:
up in shield country, the fish are so stupid, you can catch two on the same lure .... v
really ? that is where i will go then ! i'm not good at it at all... have u been ice fishing ? couple of my friends are thinking of doing it this winter.
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Originally posted by ben1406:
really ? that is where i will go then ! i'm not good at it at all... have u been ice fishing ? couple of my friends are thinking of doing it this winter.
the fishes are so lethagic in the winter, why bother freezing your balls off ? .. unless you get an ice shack ....
I can recommend you a few places to go ... ontario's fished out mostly ... you'd have to drive west to manitoba at least .... bush plane charters are quite cheap actually too ... if you can cobble up a group of people ... it's certainly doable ....
just avoid all the national parks in high summer .....
best time is very early spring, or the week or two before ice over ....
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Originally posted by Fatum:
the fishes are so lethagic in the winter, why bother freezing your balls off ? .. unless you get an ice shack ....
I can recommend you a few places to go ... ontario's fished out mostly ... you'd have to drive west to manitoba at least .... bush plane charters are quite cheap actually too ... if you can cobble up a group of people ... it's certainly doable ....
just avoid all the national parks in high summer .....
best time is very early spring, or the week or two before ice over ....
oh ice shack for sure ! ain't going to get my balls freezing.
yeah ontario is not the best place to fish really. driving to manitoba is a good 2 days ! we were suppose to do a road trip out east to Nova Scotia and Newfoundland. i'm sure we can fish over there.
so early winter is not a good time to fish i guess ?
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Originally posted by ben1406:
oh ice shack for sure ! ain't going to get my balls freezing.
yeah ontario is not the best place to fish really. driving to manitoba is a good 2 days ! we were suppose to do a road trip out east to Nova Scotia and Newfoundland. i'm sure we can fish over there.
so early winter is not a good time to fish i guess ?
early winter ? ... the ice's probably not even thick enough yet .... I still have an ice shack I share with a friend in pluto ... but I dont' suppose you'd want to go to toon town to get it ....
nova scotia ? ... perhaps you should ask small noodle about the place...
gosh I miss the big trout and walleyes .....