Move to US or stay in Singapore
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My fiance is from the US and I'm from Singapore. He says he cannot live in Singapore because of the lifestyle here. Now I have to decide if I want to move there. I cannot bear to live my family behind. Afterall, my dad has made so many sacrifices to bring me up. What can I do? :(
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which state?
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Oregon
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(actuali sg not a gd place to stay).... got try ask ur family move there? btw, how long both of u 2gether liao?
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We have known each other for more than 4 years, together for slightly more than 3.5 years.
We are considering both US and Australia. Australia might be a better choice since its nearer to Singapore.
Anyone here has experience living in a rural town of 50,000? It will be tough for me to adjust. -
Originally posted by starry99:
We have known each other for more than 4 years, together for slightly more than 3.5 years.
We are considering both US and Australia. Australia might be a better choice since its nearer to Singapore.
Anyone here has experience living in a rural town of 50,000? It will be tough for me to adjust.
tink not easy for u to adapt... unless u reali like big land and nothing like sg... where u met him? -
I acutually lived there for more than 1 year and liked it. Then I started missing suppers with friends and shopping. I guess I got home sick.
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Originally posted by starry99:
I acutually lived there for more than 1 year and liked it. Then I started missing suppers with friends and shopping. I guess I got home sick.
u work and stay there for a year? it happens to me when i was overseas last time... homesick... ask urself wat u wan lo... go whereever u love most.... jz dun stay somewhere u dun like... -
Okay thank you for your advice. :)
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Originally posted by starry99:
My fiance is from the US and I'm from Singapore. He says he cannot live in Singapore because of the lifestyle here. Now I have to decide if I want to move there. I cannot bear to live my family behind. Afterall, my dad has made so many sacrifices to bring me up. What can I do? :(
Hmm.....sorry about your predicament. Honestly, only you can answer that question. People adjust differently to similar situations.
I have lived in a town with a population of 6,000 and it wasn't easy. I spent three miserable years there. In fact, if I can rewrite part of my life? I will rewrite this part.
Actually, hard to comment. You have to consider your relationship with your fiance. Your age, your career. What is important to you and what you are willing to put up with. But even one gets tired after a compromise. So, either you give it a shot and take it from there. See how it work out and if it doesn't then take the next step?
If you are going to marry your fiance then I guess you will have no choice but to relocate, right? Anyways, good luck with your decision. Sometimes, there is no right or wrong 'cos what is right today may be wrong tomorrow. Go with your priorities given the current situation and then let God show you the rest.
God Bless!
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Originally posted by starry99:
Oregon
Oregon is nice.. I'm not too sure about how's living in a small town is like. But i've been wanting to do that for the past year.Talk to your family about it, they can always plan trips up to visit you and travel the states. It's hard leaving family behind, trust me..
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would this be like the question of who would you saved first? your boyfriends or father when you find yourself drown in a deep.
I away sees this as a maturity question rather than a issue of parents. Because everyone has parent too.
to settle permanently needs a different mind set.
But ask yourself can you not travel back to SG periodically it is not like SG is a banned state. Since you are only staying in the West coast is only A380 away.
Leaving old friends and make new ones and open life to new possibilities for young people. You have your partner think about what is important for the 2 of you together.
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Originally posted by Arapahoe:
Since you are only staying in the West coast is only A380 away.
LOL ! -
Hmm... You only seems to have 2 choices if he do not compromise... Go with him or break up with him.
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Sometimes it might be worth it to give it a try. It is better than looking back, and regret for not giving the US a shot. I was in the same situation as you a few years back. Hubby hated the weather in S'pore, thus I stayed on in Melbourne after my studies. Looking back, I have no regrets, enjoyed my stay here, though felt homesick at times. I have learned a new perspective towards life, and many life experiences here that are valuable.
Now, I am moving back to S'pore for family commitments. At different points of life, one will have to make the decision that is most appropriate for the situation. I will not said it is the best decision, but rather what you alone (not others) feel is appropriate.
And, you mentioned that you had stayed there and like it, so it will be easier for you to adapt. And when homesickness kicks in, there is the phone and webcam. And very importantly, at least to me, Prima instant packets for cravings of S'porean food.
Good Luck!
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Originally posted by ben1406:
LOL !
I mean these days US West coast you could practically lead a life like any ethnic of your choosing and don;t have to adapt too much. unlike back in the 70's or 80's where you have to hide salted fish in your bag etc....You see durain in grocery store.My friends speak bahasa indonesia in her work place.
Phone card are cheap. Skpe, MSN communicator.
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Originally posted by Arapahoe:
I mean these days US West coast you could practically lead a life like any ethnic of your choosing and don;t have to adapt too much. unlike back in the 70's or 80's where you have to hide salted fish in your bag etc....You see durain in grocery store.My friends speak bahasa indonesia in her work place.
Phone card are cheap. Skpe, MSN communicator.
Hide salted fish in your bag???
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Thank you, all, for such valuable advice. It is good to hear of the experience of others before coming to a decision. I agree that ultimately, it is the life experience. I would not choose breaking up because that seems like taking the easy road. Life is about going through obstacles. If I wanted the easy road, I would have settled for a man who is doing well in Singapore and lead a life like the rest of the people. :p
Tammiemeow: I fear that one day I have to move back due to family commitments too. How are you handling the situation? What are you doing about hubby (since he hates the weather) and kids (if you have any)? I guess I am okay with living overseas for now. I am more worried about future family commitments like father falling sick, etc.
I never faced racism in Oregon. I was curious about Western Australia though. Has anyone experienced much racism? My fiance is a whitie, so I am not too worried about him. I am more worried about myself. -
babe,go for the experience.
and rascism is out there, whether you believe it or not.
try to acclimatise yourself to the customs there, make friends and you wouldnt have to worry.
people may more likely find you exoctic and you can make a success of your 'exoctism' with the right kind of crowd.
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Originally posted by starry99:
Thank you, all, for such valuable advice. It is good to hear of the experience of others before coming to a decision. I agree that ultimately, it is the life experience. I would not choose breaking up because that seems like taking the easy road. Life is about going through obstacles. If I wanted the easy road, I would have settled for a man who is doing well in Singapore and lead a life like the rest of the people. :p
Tammiemeow: I fear that one day I have to move back due to family commitments too. How are you handling the situation? What are you doing about hubby (since he hates the weather) and kids (if you have any)? I guess I am okay with living overseas for now. I am more worried about future family commitments like father falling sick, etc.
I never faced racism in Oregon. I was curious about Western Australia though. Has anyone experienced much racism? My fiance is a whitie, so I am not too worried about him. I am more worried about myself.Hi Starry
I think more or less you know where to go at this stage. Dun worried too much abt. family commitments now. Cross the bridge when you come to it. My dad was diagnosed with cancer 2 years back, last stage. He is gone now.The company that I work for was understanding and allowed leave of absence for an indefinite time when I wanted to resign to go back S'pore last year. Bro's company offered the same. All dad's children were with him for a few months before he was gone
One of the reason I am going back is because I would like to spend more time with mum as my younger bro is goin to NS. And the other bro might be posted to UK for work. Another reason is 'cos I would like to do something more meaningful for myself.
Hubby in fact encourages me to move back for a while. He has been pyscho to adapt to S'pore food and weather (he goes to S'pore twice a year, cheap food, good transport, Funan Centre, Sim Lim). He loves these. He will relocate to S'pore once he completes his commitments here.
We do not have any kids. And if we do, hubby agrees with me that kids must be educated in S'pore. Hubby has been brainwashed...hehehe
I have heard of some instances of racism in WA, but I dun think its the norm. And if you do meet racists, just ignore these morons. VK is right. Go with an open mindset that it will be a new experience and opportunity to meet people from all walks of life. Most of my close friends in Mel are non-Singaporeans. Contrary to beliefs that Arabs are closed up and fierce to outsiders, I have met some in Mel who are generous, and help and protect you like you are one of theirs.
It will be a new chapter. Normally those who are disappointed are those who go with the mentality "the grass is greener on the other side". Every country is unique in its own way. Enjoy yourself when u r there. Life is too short and unpredictable.
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Originally posted by Tammiemeow:
Hide salted fish in your bag???
believe me in the 80's parent would listen to folks who when to US to study in the 70's. And so the tales goes on. -
Originally posted by starry99:
Thank you, all, for such valuable advice. It is good to hear of the experience of others before coming to a decision. I agree that ultimately, it is the life experience. I would not choose breaking up because that seems like taking the easy road. Life is about going through obstacles. If I wanted the easy road, I would have settled for a man who is doing well in Singapore and lead a life like the rest of the people. :p
Tammiemeow: I fear that one day I have to move back due to family commitments too. How are you handling the situation? What are you doing about hubby (since he hates the weather) and kids (if you have any)? I guess I am okay with living overseas for now. I am more worried about future family commitments like father falling sick, etc.
I never faced racism in Oregon. I was curious about Western Australia though. Has anyone experienced much racism? My fiance is a whitie, so I am not too worried about him. I am more worried about myself.If you want to go oversea go young because it does take few years to fully settledown in the US and appreciate living and performing at your best in the US. So when your life take off it is just Prime .
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Thank you for all the advice. I really appreciate it.
Haha I don't know if mine will ever be brainwashed, but we'll see! It will take some years. -
I had to move and it was hard. It's been 15 years and I'm still adjusting. Which part of Oregon are you thinking of moving to? I've been there on day trips many many years ago (my hubby's from WA state). Best thing about OR is the 0% sales tax.
On a serious note, it has been a tough journey for me. Since we were military and had to relocate every 3 years from country to country. We're finally retired and living stateside and I'm still adjusting.
Anyway, if you have more personal questions, feel free to PM me?
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but what is the property tax in Org?
all of us who migrate as an adult it is fare to say that there are certain experiences and value would be there and would not be totally brain washed.
Good luck with your move when you are in Oregon, feel free to haul us.