Any Overseas Singaporeans relocate back to Singapore
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Originally posted by Rhonda:
I feel that your mom doesn't really need you there except for company and to settle a few issues.
The only reason why she doesn't want to move to Melbourne is because she's bored? Frankly, you have to think of your future. It will be hard to expect you to move back to Singapore and be happy if you're accustomed to the lifestyle here. Boredom can be easily solved, but career, pace of life and employee benefits are things that you really need to consider.
Your mom has to learn to be independant. She's playing the "I need you, daughter!" card and making you feel guilty.
I'd say take a few months to return and be with her, but you do have to consider, in the long run, would you and your husband prefer to live in Melbourne, or in Singapore? Thank God my mom is independant. She and dad are enjoying their semi-retirement and they relish the idea of me being over here so that when I eventually get my own place, they can come and stay with me now and then. She and dad have foresight too and they are saying stuff like maybe in future, I can help my bro and his family migrate here when life in Singapore becomes unbearable. And I've told her that when my baby niece grows up, if she wants to, she can come over to Melbourne to study and I'll look after her food and lodging.
Sometimes, you have to learn to be firm. It's not that you're being unfilial but you can take care of your mom over here just the same. She has to consider that you and your husband have your entire lives ahead of you!
Besides, look around you - there are many Asian grandma's and grandpa's who moved here with their children and they somehow manage to find their own niche here.
Think about this carefully. Do you really want to give it all up to return to Singapore? It's not cheap to move there and back and vice versa.
Hi Rhonda
Thanx for the thots. Actually mum has always been independent. She traveIs frequently for work and has always been very active; shopping, yoga, facial and all the girly works. It is hard when someone whom she has spent more than half of her lifetime with is gone. (I am also taking it hard.)
Have been reflecting lots recently. I used to place too much emphasis on being an achiever. Having a good career and earning money. My parents made all these possible.They gave us the best in life, giving us a headstart, making us mobile.
It took me years to build a life here. Giving it up will not be easy. But like what hubby said, it's how we adapt and make something out of the circumstances. Career can be built anywhere, even if one has to start all over again. Money can be earn anytime anywhere. All these are within our control. One thing that is not in our control, i.e. Tomorrow may not be.
It is not too much to give up for mum who has done so much for us. Knowing her, she will never want any of her children to sacrifice and be unhappy.
Like my aunt said, I am the bitchy one
in the family (a professional ailment), so its easier for me to get things done, esp the lawyers that have been giving mum the run around. -
well said, tammie and it looks like you have it all thought out. good for you and i wish you all the very best. :)
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If you're mom is healthy and could travel, how about asking her to join you in Oz? You said so that Singaporean career doesn't allow for studying in peace. You forgot that it doesn't allow of any other things as well; including spending time with your mother.
It's a lose-lose situation from the way I see it. You get a pay cut, you'll be away from your husband, you'll hate the weather and you'll most likely not adapt back to Singaporean life and worst of all, you will not have time for your mother.
So I can't see any reason why you should want to come back.
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hi tammie,
i am also looking at a cert in nursing offered by the ITE. me being 34 years old dont seem to interest the hospital to sponsor me for the course. am thinking now to sell my 3 room flat at old airport road and take on that course.
And from there, i would liked to move overseas to work.
I have cancer, and might not be able to complete this part of the dream.
My parents are still around, in Singapore & thailand and they do not need me. They are still active and my mother still gives the same craps as ever.
Do come back to sg once in a while and fly your mother to aus as often. No point settling back to sg and give up your life is oz just like that.
as mentioned,l you have sibs in sg. my own baby brother is using me as an excuse not to maintain my mother. your mother is also your sibs mother.
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Originally posted by anonymous_dickhead:
If you're mom is healthy and could travel, how about asking her to join you in Oz? You said so that Singaporean career doesn't allow for studying in peace. You forgot that it doesn't allow of any other things as well; including spending time with your mother.
It's a lose-lose situation from the way I see it. You get a pay cut, you'll be away from your husband, you'll hate the weather and you'll most likely not adapt back to Singaporean life and worst of all, you will not have time for your mother.
So I can't see any reason why you should want to come back.
anon, pay cut is not an issue affecting my decision. Hubby flies to S'pore twice a year. In Oz most companies close for holiday from 16 Dec till 8/9 Jan. It will take a while for me to adjust to the weather.When I was working in S'pore, being in PR, I kept late hours, and even work weekends. But, I always find time to go shopping or do things with mum.
Anyway, I am going back for some family issues, and I can always come back to Oz if I want to.
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Originally posted by viciouskitty74:
hi tammie,
i am also looking at a cert in nursing offered by the ITE. me being 34 years old dont seem to interest the hospital to sponsor me for the course. am thinking now to sell my 3 room flat at old airport road and take on that course.
And from there, i would liked to move overseas to work.
I have cancer, and might not be able to complete this part of the dream.
My parents are still around, in Singapore & thailand and they do not need me. They are still active and my mother still gives the same craps as ever.
Do come back to sg once in a while and fly your mother to aus as often. No point settling back to sg and give up your life is oz just like that.
as mentioned,l you have sibs in sg. my own baby brother is using me as an excuse not to maintain my mother. your mother is also your sibs mother.
Hi viciouskitty
Dun impulsively sell your flat. My ex-colleague has a friend who was 38 was sponsored for the nursing course a couple years back. Seems she completed the course and is a nurse now. I was surfing Nanyang Poly website, and I think the course is not that expensive. I will surf the site tomorrow and find the cost sheet for you.
Sorry to hear abt the cancer. Dad also died of cancer. Please dun give up. Dad fought till the end, and his was last stage. I am at a loss for words.
one sib goin to NS, and later to States for studies. One will be posted to London for work and god knows where he will go next . Guess I will stick in S'pore till she follows youngest son to States.
Anyway, I have been away from home for 6 years (yes, S'pore still home to me). I do feel homesick at times. Maybe like mum said, easy life at home, no housework, no cooking, want to eat can easily buy anywhere anytime.