part 5
Susan's House
Susan sits on the bench in her front yard, drawing. Edie jogs by.
Susan: "Oh, Edie. Wait up, I, I want to ask you something."
Edie continues to run, so Susan follows her.
Edie: "CanÂ’t stop, gotta keep my heart rate up."
Susan: "I was just wondering how youÂ’d feel if I went out with Bill."
Edie stops running.
Edie: "What?"
Susan: "Um. Bill asked me out."
Edie: "Bill? My Bill?"
Susan: "Well see thatÂ’s the thing, he doesnÂ’t think of himself as "your Bill" cause he said that date was just a one time thing. Which I know because when he asked me out, I told him I thought you guys were involved."
Edie: "So, you havenÂ’t agreed to go out with him?"
Susan: "No. No, I wanted to check with you first."
Edie: "Wow. That was nice of you."
Susan: "So can I?"
Edie: "No."
Edie takes off jogging again. Susan runs after her.
Susan: "Edie! Edie, why canÂ’t I go out with him?"
Edie stops jogging again.
Edie: "Because I saw him first."
Susan: "Come on, thatÂ’s a really 3rd -rade thing to say."
Edie: "Look, you asked my permission, I said no. That should be the end of it!"
Edie takes off jogging again. Susan yells after her.
Susan: "Well, you know, technically, I donÂ’t need your permission!"
Edie stops jogging and turns to face Susan.
Edie: "You know, I so much want to like you but you just wonÂ’t let me."
Susan: "Edie."
Edie: "Susan, you know I try. I try to look passed your flaws, your klutziness, that, that faux vulnerability, your hair, but you look for ways to push my buttons."
Susan: "He just wants to buy me a burrito."
Edie: "Susan, please. Let me like you."
Susan: "Okay, I wonÂ’t go out with him. I mean obviously you have feeling for him."
Edie: "No, I donÂ’t. I really donÂ’t."
Susan: "So what then? If you canÂ’t have him, nobody can?"
Edie: "See? Now youÂ’re thinking like a friend."
Edie turns and jogs away leaving Susan with a dumbfounded look on her face.
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Cemetary
A singer in black, holding a single rose, sings Ave Maria as she leads a procession of black-clad mourners for Juanita Solis.
Lynette walks with Bree.
Lynette: "What a voice."
Bree: "You have to hand it to Gabby and Carlos. They do grieve better than anyone."
A white horse pulling a carriage containing Juanita SolisÂ’ casket is leading the procession. Carlos and Gabrielle are near the front of the group.
Gabrielle: "So, how much did that horse and buggy set us back?"
Carlos: "Do you mind?"
Gabrielle: "Being poor? A little."
The priest turns to look at Gabrielle.
Gabrielle: "Eyes front, Padre."
In the group of mourners, Susan and Julie walk together.
Susan: "I canÂ’t believe Edie. She doesnÂ’t have dibs on every man on the planet. If I want to go out with Bill I should be able to."
Julie: "I thought you werenÂ’t even into him."
Susan: "Well, neither is she. And if sheÂ’s not into him, why canÂ’t I not be into him."
Julie: "IÂ’m gonna mourn now."
The procession begins to slow donw.
Gabrielle: "WhatÂ’s going on? Why are we slowing down?"
Carlos: "'Cause weÂ’re almost there."
Gabrielle looks straight ahead and sees them heading towards a very large crypt.
Gabrielle: "What is that?"
Carlos: "The family who owned it couldnÂ’t afford the maintenance payment. I got an amazing deal."
Gabrielle: "A crypt? You bought your mother a crypt?"
Carlos: "Keep quiet. YouÂ’re making a scene!"
Gabrielle: "Oh thatÂ’s it. I cannot be a part of this! I canÂ’t do it!"
Gabrielle pushes the program into CarlosÂ’ hand and walks away. Carlos follows her.
Carlos: "Gabrielle!"
After a second hesitation, the group of people begins following Carlos and Gabrielle off the path.
Carlos: "Stop acting like a child!"
Lynette and Bree stop walking.
Lynette: "Are, are we supposed to be following them?"
Bree: "I donÂ’t know. I mean, maybe itÂ’s part of the ritual."
Gabrielle: "Go to hell, Carlos!"
Bree's mouth drops open. She turns to Lynette and hands her the rose she had been holding. She then calls out to the group who had followed Carlos and Gabrielle.
Bree: "All right, people. WeÂ’re going to follow the body. This way please."
She claps her hands to get their attention.
Bree: "Come along."
Everyone starts to follow Bree.
Away from the crowd, Gabrielle turns to Carlos.
Gabrielle: "This is too much. The only reason I agreed to give up the house is because I thought I was gonna get a gorgeous little apartment. Now, IÂ’m not even going to get that!"
Carlos: "What do you want me to do?"
Gabrielle: "Take the plea!"
Carlos: "What?"
Gabrielle: "Yeah! You did the crime, why should I have to pay the price? Just suck it up, be a man, and do the time."
Carlos: "Gabrielle, youÂ’re being ridiculous!"
Gabrielle: "Am I? All I want is the same respect that you gave your dead mother."
Carlos: "Gabby, please just-"
Gabrielle: "At least sheÂ’s gonna have a roof over her head."
She storms off, leaving Carlos shaking his head.
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Country Club Tennis Court
Alisa, Dennis, Tom, and Lynette play tennis. Alisa serves.
Alisa: "Fifteen all."
Alisa serves and Tom hits it back just in the line.
Alisa: "Oh, was that in?"
Tom: "Nice try."
Tom and Lynette laugh. Alisa goes to get the ball.
Dennis: "God Alisa, youÂ’re deaf, not blind."
Lynette and Tom are visibly shocked by DennisÂ’ words.
Tom: "It was a close call."
Lynette: "ThatÂ’s telling him."
Tom: "Waiting for my moment."
Dennis: "If you think her tennis stinks you should try her cooking."
Tom and Lynette glance at each other.
Alisa: "Fifteen-thirty."
Alisa serves. Lynette hits it back nearly hitting Dennis. He drops.
Lynette: "Sorry. I should have mentioned that my tennis is much better than my cooking."
Later, everyone approaches the net. Lynette and Alisa pat hands.
Lynette: "That was fun. You play really well."
Alisa: "Thank you."
Dennis: "Give me a break, she serves underhand, for god sake."
Lynette and Tom see that Alisa did not hear that comment. Lynette stares at Tom silently asking him to say something. Tom doesnÂ’t nothing.
Lynette: "WhatÂ’s your problem?"
Dennis: "Excuse me?"
Alisa looks up. Tom rushes over to her.
Tom: "Hey, do have any bottled water over there because, uh, my electrolytes get all wacky when I sweat."
Tom walks over to Alisa, blocking her view.
Lynette: "SheÂ’s your wife. How can you talk about her like that?"
Dennis: "Let me tell you what Saint Alisa is saying with that phony smile plastered on her face." (signing and talking) "'Move your ass, Dennis. Nice love handles, Dennis. Try switching your deodorant, Dennis.'"
Lynette: "All right, enough. If youÂ’ve got issues with your wife, tell her."
Dennis: "WeÂ’re in counseling."
Lynette: "Yeah, well itÂ’s not working too well if you have to unload on a perfect stranger, is it? If youÂ’re unhappy in your marriage, do something, instead of just complaining, 'cause frankly, I donÂ’t want to hear it!"
Alisa: "Hey! LetÂ’s trade partners."
Lynette: "Great."
Tom hands Lynette a bottle of water.
Lynette: "Thanks." (to Alisa) "IÂ’ll play with you."