Got the extract from this website !
http://www.abbeysvegetarianrecipes.com/animal-rights.htmlAnimal rights question #1
Dairy cow who's just given birth: Where are you taking my babies? They were just born yesterday! You call this animal rights?
Farmer John explains the NEW animal rights: You didn't really think your milk was for your own babies, did you? Of course you didn't! This is the new Millenium! This is the NEW "animal rights"! Nature designed you with four teats for a reason: your milk is needed by a more deserving species. That's what we call the NEW animal rights. Wait a sec; you thought you were an animal? Silly you! You're not an animal. You're a machine. (And you'll produce 17 tons of milk before you die.) Animal rights don't count for machines.
Animal rights question #2
Newborn baby male calf: Why did you tear me away from my mother? Why are you stuffing me in a crate the size of my body? I can't even turn around! You call this animal rights?
Farmer John explains the NEW animal rights: Hey, it's not my fault you were born male. Blame it on nature! And it's not that I'm opposed to animal rights... I simply have no use for you on my dairy farm. If you were a "beef quality" animal, you'd get more rights. But you're not. Why the tiny cramped stall? If we let you move around, you'd lose weight. And that would cost us profits. Plus, all those veal lovers who cherish your tender flesh would be disappointed. They're animals too, and we can't forget about their rights! And you? You're not an animal; you're a food product. That's why you're called "veal". Animal rights don't count for food products.
Animal rights question #3
Baby calf: I'm craving iron! I need my mother's milk!
Farmer John explains the NEW animal rights: Please understand, restaurant-goers insist that your flesh be pale and tender; that means we've got to keep you in the dark and deprive you of iron. Your mother's milk has too much iron. Oh, please don't say I'm deliberately raising you to be "anemic"‹that's the harsh word of animal rights extremists. Let's just say "tender". And remember: just because there's iron in your urine, I don't want to catch you licking your urine off the floor boards.
Animal rights question #4
Dairy cow: Oww! What the heck are you shoving into my vagina?! You call this animal rights?
Farmer John explains the NEW animal rights: The thing is, we need your milk. And in order to produce milk, you've got to have babies. But instead of letting a dirty bull on top of you, we've developed a system that's quicker and cleaner. I can't figure why it hasn't scored points with the animal rights groups. No, it's not a "rape rack". That's such a crude word coined by those animal rights extremists. The truth is, it's a state-of-the-art artificial insemination system designed with your best interests at heart. Heck, I'm practically an animal rights advocate!
Animal rights question #5
Why are my breasts so enormous? They're putting a tremendous strain on my back! You call this animal rights?
Farmer John explains the NEW animal rights: Don't worry, it's just the result of Bovine Growth Hormone. The FDA approved it! (Devilish grin). And you can always trust the FDA. These days, they're big on animal rights. What? Yeah, it's true that your breasts have ballooned to three times their natural size, but it's for a worthy cause, don't you agree? Yeah, I know it puts a strain on your back, but life isn't perfect. We humans are addicted to your milk, and we're animals too; don't we have rights? What? You heard that by overgrowing your breasts with hormones, we've made you vulnerable to infection and inflammation? Animal rights activists told you? Well, I say it's mind over matter, so keep a positive attitude
I like grass Moooooooooo...........
