When Mr Right comes at the wrong time
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SOMETIMES, timing rather than love decides who we end up being with - or without.
Only some lucky people marry the loves of their lives. The rest marry the most suitable person who comes along when they are ready to settle down.
A friend in his 20s came to this conclusion after confiding in me that he had recently met a woman who is more attractive than his wife, and so occupies his thoughts more often than his wife does.
'If only I had met her before I got married,' he said wistfully.
But I think even if the love of one's life appears when one is single, one may not be in the right frame of mind to recognise him or her as such.
And then love passes by.
Life is littered with near misses and lost opportunities.
I attended my ex-boyfriend's wedding last month, which triggered many memories.
-From the Straits Times.
We met five years ago when I was 23 and he 31. It was love at first sight.
He had an established career, was down-to-earth and steadfastly religious.
I was then working as an air stewardess and my head was - literally and metaphorically - in the clouds.
I was also - well, let's put it this way - not religious.
Despite our differences, we were soulmates. We had the same quirky sense of humour and shared long, intense overnight conversations.
But human nature is perverse. When someone is excessively nice to us, we start taking things for granted, instead of appreciating them even more.
My ex sent me to the airport, fixed my PC, reminded me to take health supplements - and go to church.
He had everything I could want in a husband - except that I was not looking for one. A boyfriend was all I could cope with then.
I loved fast cars, danced wildly at Zouk and took off on shopping holidays at a whim. My life revolved around I, me and myself.
In the six months that we were together, he popped the question several times and talked ad nauseam about having children. He wanted us to enrol for a Christian marriage preparation course.
Yes, I did often fantasise about a Vera Wang wedding gown, but I was at that stage of my life when I was more interested in Guess than Baby Guess.
And where - dare I admit it? - I still wanted to meet other men.
So I was a 23-year-old with the emotional maturity of a 13-year-old. Responsibility? Wasn't that for adults?
In short, I met Mr Right at the wrong time.
The more he talked about marriage and religion, the more I felt pressured and the more pressured I felt, the more irritable I became.
I was too impatient to compromise. Every trivial matter blew up as a big deal. My mood obliterated the good in our relationship and reached a point where I just wanted out.
He was heartbroken; I was sad but relieved. He still called me regularly, beseeching me to change my mind.
The calls stopped finally after a year. Now and then, we say 'Hi' via e-mail.
I had a few painful relationships after that. Served me right, as those rude wake-up calls were necessary for me to realise the meaninglessness of my hedonistic high life.
I missed the tenderness of my ex and began having second thoughts.
Perhaps I also felt more urgency to find someone marriageable before my biological clock reached zero hour. It dawned on me that I am not a pixie like Peter Pan who can flit around forever. One day, I'd wake up sick and alone when my fair weather friends flit away.
But I was too proud and too unsure of my ex's reaction to call him until last year.
The first thing he told me excitedly was that he had found The One. My heart tumbled to my feet. So, that's Fate.
If only I could turn back time. If only I had met him later. If only... what feeble words.
These days, I am more circumspect. I have come to terms with my loss. There is nothing I can do about timing, but I can do everything about my choices.
Sometimes, when the nights get lonely, I toy with the idea of marrying a platonic friend of mine, who often assures me earnestly that, if the worst comes to the worst, he'd be willing to marry me.
But I always dismiss that. I have already made one mistake. I should not make another by settling for second best merely for the sake of getting hitched - only to regret it soon after, as the guy who confided in me did.
Hopefully, the best is not over but yet to be. -
Cupid has a busy schedule .....
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and a lot of free arrows too!Originally posted by InnoHippo:Cupid has a busy schedule ..... -
Janice Wong again....
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shoot again and again until the arrow hits and sticks thereOriginally posted by ratinacage:and a lot of free arrows too! -
cupid should go for archery class. how i longed to shoot him in the head the next time i see him
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where's the source of this article.Originally posted by ratinacage:SOMETIMES, timing rather than love decides who we end up being with - or without.
Only some lucky people marry the loves of their lives. The rest marry the most suitable person who comes along when they are ready to settle down.
A friend in his 20s came to this conclusion after confiding in me that he had recently met a woman who is more attractive than his wife, and so occupies his thoughts more often than his wife does.
'If only I had met her before I got married,' he said wistfully.
But I think even if the love of one's life appears when one is single, one may not be in the right frame of mind to recognise him or her as such.
And then love passes by.
Life is littered with near misses and lost opportunities.
I attended my ex-boyfriend's wedding last month, which triggered many memories.
-From the Straits Times.
We met five years ago when I was 23 and he 31. It was love at first sight.
He had an established career, was down-to-earth and steadfastly religious.
I was then working as an air stewardess and my head was - literally and metaphorically - in the clouds.
I was also - well, let's put it this way - not religious.
Despite our differences, we were soulmates. We had the same quirky sense of humour and shared long, intense overnight conversations.
But human nature is perverse. When someone is excessively nice to us, we start taking things for granted, instead of appreciating them even more.
My ex sent me to the airport, fixed my PC, reminded me to take health supplements - and go to church.
He had everything I could want in a husband - except that I was not looking for one. A boyfriend was all I could cope with then.
I loved fast cars, danced wildly at Zouk and took off on shopping holidays at a whim. My life revolved around I, me and myself.
In the six months that we were together, he popped the question several times and talked ad nauseam about having children. He wanted us to enrol for a Christian marriage preparation course.
Yes, I did often fantasise about a Vera Wang wedding gown, but I was at that stage of my life when I was more interested in Guess than Baby Guess.
And where - dare I admit it? - I still wanted to meet other men.
So I was a 23-year-old with the emotional maturity of a 13-year-old. Responsibility? Wasn't that for adults?
In short, I met Mr Right at the wrong time.
The more he talked about marriage and religion, the more I felt pressured and the more pressured I felt, the more irritable I became.
I was too impatient to compromise. Every trivial matter blew up as a big deal. My mood obliterated the good in our relationship and reached a point where I just wanted out.
He was heartbroken; I was sad but relieved. He still called me regularly, beseeching me to change my mind.
The calls stopped finally after a year. Now and then, we say 'Hi' via e-mail.
I had a few painful relationships after that. Served me right, as those rude wake-up calls were necessary for me to realise the meaninglessness of my hedonistic high life.
I missed the tenderness of my ex and began having second thoughts.
Perhaps I also felt more urgency to find someone marriageable before my biological clock reached zero hour. It dawned on me that I am not a pixie like Peter Pan who can flit around forever. One day, I'd wake up sick and alone when my fair weather friends flit away.
But I was too proud and too unsure of my ex's reaction to call him until last year.
The first thing he told me excitedly was that he had found The One. My heart tumbled to my feet. So, that's Fate.
If only I could turn back time. If only I had met him later. If only... what feeble words.
These days, I am more circumspect. I have come to terms with my loss. There is nothing I can do about timing, but I can do everything about my choices.
Sometimes, when the nights get lonely, I toy with the idea of marrying a platonic friend of mine, who often assures me earnestly that, if the worst comes to the worst, he'd be willing to marry me.
But I always dismiss that. I have already made one mistake. I should not make another by settling for second best merely for the sake of getting hitched - only to regret it soon after, as the guy who confided in me did.
Hopefully, the best is not over but yet to be.
I love the thought, it's beautiful! -
ST Lifestyle by Janice WongOriginally posted by M©+square:where's the source of this article.
I love the thought, it's beautiful! -
Straits Times, Monday, 31st Jan 05
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on behalf of all the nice guys out there who were always second rated to a punk with funky hair and funky clothes, and often unappreciated and taken for granted,
serve u biatches right. -
Well... Gals now a days are materalisticOriginally posted by dumbdumb!:on behalf of all the nice guys out there who were always second rated to a punk with funky hair and funky clothes, and often unappreciated and taken for granted,
serve u biatches right. -
so its their fault if they go through pains in bad relationships. they choose to follow the guys who will hurt them, then when they get hurt, dumped, made used of, they biatch about it, cry, and curse the guys.Originally posted by sbst275:Well... Gals now a days are materalistic
sure it takes 2 hands to clap, but they did the choosing. no one forced them to choose the wrong guys. -
To be frank, it depends also...Originally posted by dumbdumb!:so its their fault if they go through pains in bad relationships. they choose to follow the guys who will hurt them, then when they get hurt, dumped, made used of, they biatch about it, cry, and curse the guys.
sure it takes 2 hands to clap, but they did the choosing. no one forced them to choose the wrong guys. -
i'm just glad the nice guy in the newspaper report got married to someone who loves him more than the regretful stupid biatch who is now single and hurting
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Janice Wong???Originally posted by dumbdumb!:i'm glad the nice guy in the newspaper report got married to someone who loves him more than the regretful stupid biatch who is now single and hurting -
erm. dunno. i mean the newspaper report above la.Originally posted by sbst275:Janice Wong??? -
most times we jux do not see what is right in front of our eyes.
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its so infurating that nice guys are always passed up for punks who treat girls badly. why? becuz they have the branded hairstyle, the dance moves, the drinks?Originally posted by ratinacage:most times we jux do not see what is right in front of our eyes.
i came across one blog of this girl, who is always biatching about her two timing boyfriend, who looked like a punk, and how he is always taking her for granted, etc, how sad she is, how hurt she is.. but its totally her fault for choosing the wrong person. she has no one but herself to blame. stupid biatch -
feh!
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I understand Janice Wong's pain.
23 is a time where u think u wan to play more than anything else. And to settle down with kids is definitely out of the question.
For Janice's case, maybe she played too much. For other gals at her age, building up a firm career might be the only issue at their minds. -
Yah... It took me till 25 to get my gal... At 23, she said she dun wanna have kids and settle down life with me...Originally posted by C-100:I understand Janice Wong's pain.
23 is a time where u think u wan to play more than anything else. And to settle down with kids is definitely out of the question.
For Janice's case, maybe she played too much. For other gals at her age, building up a firm career might be the only issue at their minds.
Understandable... -
i hope she sees the error of her way.