Why does guys 'drift' when it's time to commit
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Remember, the threads that i post does NOT filter in LOVE, instead it is mainly on ATTRACTION and build up from there.
'Men are like mascara' they RUN at the first sign of emotion.'
Stay tuned.
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because they jay chou
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Huang Li Hom, i like, my boyfriend.Originally posted by kopiosatu:because they jay chou -
wee weee~~~~
finally i see something.
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But girls still don't admit they don't understand men.Originally posted by browniebaobao:wee weee~~~~
finally i see something.
Oh well. -
Even I can't understand myself... How can pple understand me??Originally posted by M©+square:But girls still don't admit they don't understand men.
Oh well.
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cos most guys weak point is emotions lo.. so must run..
or alternatively, they saw too much initial d n start 'drifting' -
got meh?Originally posted by M©+square:But girls still don't admit they don't understand men.
Oh well.
i tot i already posted some questions?
it means i dun understand lor..
anyway i think only gurus can really understand the opposite gender ba.. -
I can't help it. I always drift here and there
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ya, some guys dun even understand themselves, how you expect us to understand them?Originally posted by sunny6110:Even I can't understand myself... How can pple understand me??
As for others, maybe we do understand? juz that some of us refuse to accept it? -
each and every one is unique by himself/herself.
if anyone claims that he/she completely understands man/women, they're wrong. -
Originally posted by M©+square:
but nowadays got anti-run mascara wor..
Remember, the threads that i post does NOT filter in [b]LOVE, instead it is mainly on ATTRACTION and build up from there.
'Men are like mascara' they RUN at the first sign of emotion.'
Stay tuned. [/b] -
"Look... you're great, but the truth is that I'm not ready or in the right place for any kind of 'serious' relationship right now."
And he goes on to tell you about all the things
going on in his life that are taking up his time
and energy. And that he doesn't know how to
settle down right now.
WHAT THE HELL IS HE TALKING ABOUT!?
Why is he acting like you're going to get in the way of the rest of his life?
Why did he ask you out in the first place, and spend all that time sharing himself, being with you, and connecting with you if he didn't want a relationship all along?
Couldn't he have told you that when you first
met, instead of asking you out?
Why did he spend all that time with you and sleep with you if he didn't want to be with you?
And how come he doesn't recognize or appreciate all the things you bring to his life, and all the things that you do for him?
At this point, you feel incredibly hurt, frustrated, unappreciated, and misunderstood.
You even become intensely UPSET and ANGRY with him, and with yourself. How could you have misunderstood what was happening and not seen this coming!?
Why did he do all the things he did, and why did he SAY all those things that made you think HE WANTED a relationship with you? -
And then what happens?
A) Pretending you don't want anything serious
either and keep on sleeping with the man
"casually" in hopes that things will grow from the
"physical relationship"
B) Staying close to him by trying to become his
"best friend" as you help him in his life and with
his problems - all the while imagining the
"payoff" of a real relationship for your good
deeds once he recognizes how great you are
C) Trying to make him jealous by telling him
you're seeing other guys, even if you're not. Or
going out with other guys and doing things with
them not because you like them, but because you
want him to find out and want you back
D) Getting pissed off at him and telling him he's
dumb, immature, and acting like a little boy
and that he's just scared of a real relationship
and a commitment - and then trying to get him to
have a relationship with you to "fix" himself
E) Trying to make him interested in you by
complimenting him, doing nice things for him,
taking up things he's interested in to be around
him. And being available to him at anytime he
should show interest. This is kind of like trying
to be his "best friend", but different since it's
often still sexual.
Do you recognise any of these response?
As you read yours, you probably thought "Oh no,
that was me!"... and now you see your behavior in
a slightly different light.
In fact, maybe you see you've made a couple of these mistakes with men.
Here's the thing.
None of these responses ever work with men.
Doing these things with a man is like instant MAN-REPELLENT.
But, strangely enough, even though these universally don't get men to respond in any positive way... these are still the most common ways that women who don't understand men and dating respond.
Which begs me to ask the question...
Why do so many women make these same mistakes in the first place? And why are these so universally common?
The short answer is this - If a woman makes these kinds of mistakes with men, it's NOT because she "learned" it by seeing it work for other women with other men.
Absolutely not.
It's because she does WHAT MAKES SENSE to HER in the moment.
But guess what?
If you've spent enough time around men, then you've probably discovered that men DON'T MAKE MUCH SENSE.
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Ladies, you may disagree that Men don't make much sense.
Or you may go like, 'No leh, i do this and do that...not like the response above leh'...
I'm going to post it anyway. -
If he doesn't want to commit, just dump him and move on already. Who cares if there's a spark that might grow into a fire.
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i juz let him have his way..
and suffered in silence
din tell anyone about our r/s.. covered up all the sh|t that he did..
and then wat?
so foolish of me..
still living with the pain.. -
haha!!! so well-written! Interesting to read!!!Originally posted by M©+square:And then what happens?
A) Pretending you don't want anything serious
either and keep on sleeping with the man
"casually" in hopes that things will grow from the
"physical relationship"
B) Staying close to him by trying to become his
"best friend" as you help him in his life and with
his problems - all the while imagining the
"payoff" of a real relationship for your good
deeds once he recognizes how great you are
C) Trying to make him jealous by telling him
you're seeing other guys, even if you're not. Or
going out with other guys and doing things with
them not because you like them, but because you
want him to find out and want you back
D) Getting pissed off at him and telling him he's
dumb, immature, and acting like a little boy
and that he's just scared of a real relationship
and a commitment - and then trying to get him to
have a relationship with you to "fix" himself
E) Trying to make him interested in you by
complimenting him, doing nice things for him,
taking up things he's interested in to be around
him. And being available to him at anytime he
should show interest. This is kind of like trying
to be his "best friend", but different since it's
often still sexual.
Do you recognise any of these response?
As you read yours, you probably thought "Oh no,
that was me!"... and now you see your behavior in
a slightly different light.
In fact, maybe you see you've made a couple of these mistakes with men.
Here's the thing.
None of these responses ever work with men.
Doing these things with a man is like instant MAN-REPELLENT.
But, strangely enough, even though these universally don't get men to respond in any positive way... these are still the most common
ways that women who don't understand men and dating respond.
Which begs me to ask the question...
Why do so many women make these same mistakes in the first place? And why are these so universally common?
The short answer is this - If a woman makes these kinds of mistakes with men, it's NOT because she "learned" it by seeing
it work for other women with other men.
Absolutely not.
It's because she does WHAT MAKES SENSE to HER in the moment.
But guess what?
If you've spent enough time around men, then you've probably discovered that men DON'T MAKE MUCH SENSE.
___
Ladies, you may disagree that Men don't make much sense.
Or you may go like, 'No leh, i do this and do that...not like the response above leh'...
I'm going to post it anyway.
Keep posting, dont keep us waiting so long leh -
If you try and use what makes sense to YOU as a woman with a man... odds are you're going to get very poor results.
Which means...
If you want to start getting better outcomes and results when it comes to men, and you want to be able to communicate with a man in a way that brings him closer...
Then you're going to have to learn to STOP doing what makes "sense" to you.
And START doing what it is that makes a man FEEL ATTRACTED and MORE INTERESTED in you.
In other words... the biggest challenge most women run into when it comes to "breaking through" to men and getting past the surface dating stuff and into a real relationship with a real man is not being able to see past their own MINDSET and the approach they've been using that hasn't
worked.
If you have the wrong mindset, and the thus the wrong approach when it comes to men and dating. Then it practically guarantees you're going to fail from the very beginning. -
Let me tell you a quick little secret about men...
When it comes to women and relationships, in the beginning, most men think they want to 'have their cake, and eat it too'
I don't think I have to explain what I mean by this, because I'm sure you intuitively get what I'm talking about, and you've experienced this with a man.
But notice that I said MOST men
This is NOT the case with EVERY woman that a man meets and dates.
That's right. It's different in some situations
Every once in awhile, a man will meet a woman and KNOW very quickly - without a smidgeon of doubt - that he wants to be with HER and only HER. I'm talking about the situation where a man knows he wants to be with ONE WOMAN because it FEELS RIGHT on a deep emotional level.
And here's something else you should know:
When this happens, THE MAN will usually be the one to push for a long-term commitment.
And you won't have to do anything but keep being the great partner that you are and help him with the things he wants to do to keep you both CLOSE and TOGETHER.
I'm sure you've had at least one friend that the men ALWAYS seemed to pursue, and it seemed like they were in the one up position. Or maybe this has happened to you before but you don't exactly know how or why it happened or more importantly, how to repeat it with a guy you REALLY want
For some strange reason, the guys you DON'T WANT seem to always be PURSUING YOU for more.
Strange how that works, isn't it?
The truth is, getting a guy to WANT to be more and more committed WITH YOU can be summed up in 2 simple steps
A woman that TRULY captures a man's heart will:
Make a man FEEL, through experience, that he's BETTER OFF being with YOU than being single, spending most of his time with his friends, or 'sleeping around'.
AND
Show a man, on a physical AND emotional level, that he's BETTER OFF being with YOU than ANY OTHER WOMAN HE COULD POSSIBLY MEET. -
Originally posted by sunny6110:Even I can't understand myself... How can pple understand me??
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me too..Originally posted by DriftingGuy:I can't help it. I always drift here and there