How to keep a man? Women...What do you understand about men?
-
and i am saying that too.Originally posted by blu_sky:ya, there are good and bad apples everywhere. Thats why i say, lets not generalise!
cheers
but i was just saying that my views are that my version of bad apples are more prevalent here. -
i juz heard this from my colleagues who are married. here to verify with you guys.
she said, when a man crosses his line, occassionaly the woman should juz fxxk him (i mean scold him) to wake him up a little. keep him in check, in line.
is it true, men? -
Yes, men never and dun like women to nag... compare this and compare that... question them on what they are doing... they still want privacy even they are married.Originally posted by T.Ryousuke:How to keep a man? Cook nice food to fill their stomach.
Women...What do you understand about men? they don't like ppl nag.
Freedom is wat they want.
Set them free and they will soon come back or sometime they dun even want to leave you yeah
-
me too!Originally posted by blu_sky:Basically everyone is different, and every man is different too. Of cos, there are some common traits like men need space, men need face... but afterall, one thing could be important to one man, but not important to another man.
Like most forumites say here, they hate women who spend their money, but my ex love to spend money on me. in the beginning of the relationship, we had to race to the counter to get the bill. there was once, before i came out from the fitting room, he already paid! And he will be very sad if i dun let him pay actually. then i had to resort to only shop when he is not around!
Some forumites say "why dating muz go restaurants?"? but my ex loves fine dining. he will be very miserable if i bring him to a hawker with no air-con.
And all the forumites here say, food. keep him well-fed. but i had got another ex who doesnt like to eat. Food? no use. Well, of cos i found out what he likes (*wink) and that relationship lasted for 5 years. We broke up 2 years already, and he is still asking me to patch up till today.
Every man is different. know your man, and do what he likes, do things that he enjoys doing together and abstain from wat he doesnt like. Give him space, give him face. Build mutual trust and respect. That is the way to keep a man, i think.
In fact my dear said he enjoys "fighting" with me over who will pay the bill... And sometimes I have to just drop the money onto him or put it into his pocket so that he will accept my payment -
How to keep a man ah...
Give him space and freedom to hang out with his frens
understand that they will always be a kid at heart, means that they will always spend on games, animes, comic books, gadgets, the list is endless
Know how to reach a compromise if there is something that both of you don't agree on...cannot expect him to give in to you all the time...
I will post more when I can think of others -
Sometimes this also applies to women too. Some guys can be more naggy than women and intrude on their privacy more so than women on theirsOriginally posted by csp3976:Yes, men never and dun like women to nag... compare this and compare that... question them on what they are doing... they still want privacy even they are married.
Freedom is wat they want.
Set them free and they will soon come back or sometime they dun even want to leave you yeah -
I think this shd be itOriginally posted by blu_sky:Every man is different. know your man, and do what he likes, do things that he enjoys doing together and abstain from wat he doesnt like. Give him space, give him face. Build mutual trust and respect. That is the way to keep a man, i think. -
I know this is not a topic on women but let me try to rephrase using blu_sky's quote for a general summary on how to keep a woman too.Originally posted by blu_sky:Every man is different. know your man, and do what he likes, do things that he enjoys doing together and abstain from wat he doesnt like. Give him space, give him face. Build mutual trust and respect. That is the way to keep a man, i think.
Every woman is different. Know your lady, and do what she likes, do things that she enjoys doing together and abstain from wat she doesnt like. Give her attention, give her TLC. Hear her out. Build mutual trust and respect. That is the way to keep a woman, i think. -
Dunno where I got the source from... So its not a copyrighted thought from me...
Actually understanding a person, be it boy or girl, is not as difficult as it seemed. In fact, its so simple, its hard to believe its simple in the first place! Bottomline: we tend to complicate things because we find it hard to believe.
-
"set them free"
Heh is one ever free when in a relationship? -
Sounds like vice versusOriginally posted by M©+square:
When you say men is much easier to understand, you don't know what women are going through.
Cheers -
haha i got tot abt this beforeOriginally posted by choco B:"set them free"
Heh is one ever free when in a relationship?
of cos when u r in a r/s u r sorta giving up 100% freedom, but doesnt mean you cant get 70% of it...the 70% is just an example, all will depend on ur partner (whether he/she is the clingy type or the independent type) -
some men cant handle too much freedom, gotta pull him back at appropriate times. Like flying a kite?Originally posted by choco B:"set them free"
Heh is one ever free when in a relationship?
when to pull back? thats an art. im still learning, -
How to Keep a Man (or a woman)? Hmm This is assuming that you already have GOTTEN the man/woman and they ARE attracted to you to begin with. So..
My take.. I'll write down 3 simply cos tts a nice number? Hehehhe
1) Don't be insecure. Be confident in who you are and your own ability to be loved. Nothing kills a relationship faster than a constant need for reassurance that can never be satisfied. It is tedious.
2) Be interested in your partner. Listen, Laugh and Laud compliments when its due. Honest and demonstrative affection is hard to resist. Show interest in what your partner enjoys (even if you don't have to get your entirely involved).
3) Be interesting. Be interested in life, people, places. And I think once you are interested in life, you become interesting to people, and intriguing to your partner too.
-think- yeah. -
Your 1,2,3 sound logical.Originally posted by ShrodingersCat:How to Keep a Man (or a woman)? Hmm This is assuming that you already have GOTTEN the man/woman and they ARE attracted to you to begin with. So..
My take.. I'll write down 3 simply cos tts a nice number? Hehehhe
-think- yeah.
In any RS we r in, we need to put in effort to make it last and it's not only one party. -
i also duno what to post.. dun mind me if i got carried away..
i juz dun understand man's ego... how big is it?
1) how would he feel if i insist on paying for my own meal, my stuff etc? How would this affect the r/s? Last time din even know of the thing called 'ego'.. and being the stubborn me.. i rather pay for us than to let him pay for me.
2) how to make my man open up to me?
Past experiences tell me that man like to keep things to themselves.. and if they really need to talk, they would find their good female frens, than to share with their girlfriend (and true enough.. my guy frens also come to me when they have issue with their wife/gf).. Ever quarrelled with my first love about this issue.. bcos i thought i was so insignificant to him that he din even want to tell me even tho i begged him for weeks... but he told my buddy instead. And I had to find out from her. That's really sarcastic.
3) What do men want from a relationship?
Pardon me for saying this, but my past relationships tell me that it's companionship and lust that they are after.
4) Man = rubber band?
I read the book "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus' by John Gray.. still remember the 'rubber band theory'.. it says men reacts like rubber bands.. if he needs to be alone, let him be and he will come back to you after that. How true is that? My Leo ex told me he's different.
5) How to make a man commit?
It seems that commitment is the hardest thing for men.. -
why you muz pay leh? if he likes to pay, why dun let him pay leh? why muz be so 'zhi zhuo' leh?Originally posted by browniebaobao:1) how would he feel if i insist on paying for my own meal, my stuff etc? How would this affect the r/s? Last time din even know of the thing called 'ego'.. and being the stubborn me.. i rather pay for us than to let him pay for me. -
he will open up when he feels really comfortable and there will be no repurcussion.Originally posted by browniebaobao:[color=indigo]
2) how to make my man open up to me?
Past experiences tell me that man like to keep things to themselves.. and if they really need to talk, they would find their good female frens, than to share with their girlfriend (and true enough.. my guy frens also come to me when they have issue with their wife/gf).. Ever quarrelled with my first love about this issue.. bcos i thought i was so insignificant to him that he din even want to tell me even tho i begged him for weeks... but he told my buddy instead. And I had to find out from her. That's really sarcastic.
i always try to make it a point not to be angry when my man confess something to me. i think that works for me? -
Originally posted by browniebaobao:
I'm sorry to hear that. but honestly, that might not be the case?
[b
3) What do men want from a relationship?
Pardon me for saying this, but my past relationships tell me that it's companionship and lust that they are after.
[/b] -
I think that is very true. Doesnt it apply to gals too? at times we may need time for ourselves? of course, general rule is, men need more space and freedom usually.Originally posted by browniebaobao:4) Man = rubber band?
I read the book "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus' by John Gray.. still remember the 'rubber band theory'.. it says men reacts like rubber bands.. if he needs to be alone, let him be and he will come back to you after that. How true is that? My Leo ex told me he's different. -
You cant make a man commit. He will only commit when he is ready and when he wants to.Originally posted by browniebaobao:5) How to make a man commit?
It seems that commitment is the hardest thing for men.. [/color]
So, if it is commitment that you want, choose a man who is ready to commit and make it condusive for him to commit. -
You know what I think about your ex?Originally posted by blu_sky:Basically everyone is different, and every man is different too. Of cos, there are some common traits like men need space, men need face... but afterall, one thing could be important to one man, but not important to another man.
Like most forumites say here, they hate women who spend their money, but my ex love to spend money on me. in the beginning of the relationship, we had to race to the counter to get the bill. there was once, before i came out from the fitting room, he already paid! And he will be very sad if i dun let him pay actually. then i had to resort to only shop when he is not around!
Some forumites say "why dating muz go restaurants?"? but my ex loves fine dining. he will be very miserable if i bring him to a hawker with no air-con.
And all the forumites here say, food. keep him well-fed. but i had got another ex who doesnt like to eat. Food? no use. Well, of cos i found out what he likes (*wink) and that relationship lasted for 5 years. We broke up 2 years already, and he is still asking me to patch up till today.
Every man is different. know your man, and do what he likes, do things that he enjoys doing together and abstain from wat he doesnt like. Give him space, give him face. Build mutual trust and respect. That is the way to keep a man, i think.
He's an idiot.
doko -
Sounds like it's the same for women? What you just said is applicable to women.Originally posted by blu_sky:You cant make a man commit. He will only commit when he is ready and when he wants to.
So, if it is commitment that you want, choose a man who is ready to commit and make it condusive for him to commit.
doko -
[quote]You can't make anyone commit. No one is ever in a perpetually committed or uncommitted relationship. It isn't a ... 'state' in a relationship where everyone 'strives' towards. It is a continual process that needs to be worked at, the 'flux' that smooths the edges, heals the hurt, discard the unnecessary elements that weakens the relationship.Originally posted by browniebaobao:i also duno what to post.. dun mind me if i got carried away..
i juz dun understand man's ego... how big is it?
1) how would he feel if i insist on paying for my own meal, my stuff etc? How would this affect the r/s? Last time din even know of the thing called 'ego'.. and being the stubborn me.. i rather pay for us than to let him pay for me.
[/quote]
My Take
In that case, it isn't necessarily the man's ego is it? Why do you want to insist on paying? I think that paying for things is a small thing, and generally shouldnt need to be too calculative. Some things he pay, some things I pay, doesn't need to calculate down to every cent. And sometimes it isn't about ego if the guy is upset that the girl keeps insisting on paying, but even among friends I will feel a little hurt if a friend wants to be so calculative with me that i can't even treat him/her a meal when I feel like it?
Well, maybe it is because you begged him. You can 'speed up' a relationship but it is very difficult to 'force' a friendship. And being his girlfriend does not automatically qualify you as his buddy/friend, and definitely does not entitle you to be privy to all that he thinks. And I think the more you quarrel about wanting to be 'in the know', the more he will shy away from wanting to tell y ou about it.
2) how to make my man open up to me?
Past experiences tell me that man like to keep things to themselves.. and if they really need to talk, they would find their good female frens, than to share with their girlfriend (and true enough.. my guy frens also come to me when they have issue with their wife/gf).. Ever quarrelled with my first love about this issue.. bcos i thought i was so insignificant to him that he din even want to tell me even tho i begged him for weeks... but he told my buddy instead. And I had to find out from her. That's really sarcastic.
I can only say perhaps you need to take some time off and re-assess the type of men you are interested in. A relationship is made up of many elements - companionship and lust ARE important in a lasting relationship. In fact, I think for most people, a compatible companionship AND lust is important before love can start to take root. Love takes time.
3) What do men want from a relationship?
Pardon me for saying this, but my past relationships tell me that it's companionship and lust that they are after.
Take time to understand how each man needs to be loved cos all of them are different right?
4) Man = rubber band?
I read the book "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus' by John Gray.. still remember the 'rubber band theory'.. it says men reacts like rubber bands.. if he needs to be alone, let him be and he will come back to you after that. How true is that? My Leo ex told me he's different.
We all need to be loved in different ways, when we are with different people, when we are in different life stages.
5) How to make a man commit?
It seems that commitment is the hardest thing for men.. -
Im beginning to agree with you haha. I hope Im wrong.Originally posted by kopiosatu:and i am saying that too.
but i was just saying that my views are that my version of bad apples are more prevalent here.
doko