Should I give up on this R/S?Is he hiding something from me?
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got another forumer also got tis problem... it was found out tat he might hv a family(wife) liao... best is go down to his place and expose him.... everything points to him being a cheater or more but now is up to u to proof his is guilty.... good luck...Originally posted by alegna_t13:I'm currently dating this guy whom I got to know in August. We met thru a friend and he claims that he was attracted to me because 'I'm unlike most girls, I'm smart, intelligent...'
But anyway, I din feel that he was chasing me till sometime later when he asked me ' Don't you know that I'm chasing after you?' and I'm like ' Huh? Got meh? I dun feel it leh...'
Anyway, he loves his Mum and I have nothing against that. In fact, fillial piety has always been a trait that I looked for in my boyfriends. But I think, he's too much of a mummy's boy.
We've been together for a few months now and our dates never last beyond 9pm and we have never been out on a weekend, not to mention Xmas and New Year.
He never calls or sms me. He never replies my sms nor answer my calls. When I ask him about it,he claims that its because his phone was in his room on the 3rd floor and he din hear/ see/ notice. ( In my opinion, what use is a handphone if you keep it sitting in your room, away from your sight. Handphones aren't called mobile phone/ hand phones for nothing you know?)
When I ask him what he does over the weekends, he says that he's keeping his Mum company.
When we do go out for dates, he drops me at my void-deck without dinner, says he got to rush home but his car is still there when I reach my floor, busily sms-ing somebody in the car.
He ALWAYS uses his mum as an excuse and frankly, I'm starting to hate his Mum even before meeting his Mum and I have no intention of doing that.
He was the one who said that he told his mum about us and that his mum wants to meet me but now he's the one who keeps making excuses so that I cannot meet his mum.
Frankly, I wished that I could meet his mum and his family so that at least I can go out with them on weekends, just to spend more time to get to noe him.
In an effort to get to noe him better, I've even offered to go to church with him. He claims that he has to go to church for Bible studies on Sat evenings and he has to attend church on Sundays too. He was shocked by my offer, said that he'll make arrangements den did nothing about it.
Recently, because of an incident, I 'punished' him by making me promise that he'll keep me company every sat for a month and I'll go to Bible studies with him on Sats and he suddenly said that there isn't any classes.
Den last Fri, he told me that he cannot company me cos he got to bring his mum to KK for check up in the morn (weird considering the fact that KK deals with Gynae prob and his mum is well into her 50s going 60) and he got Bible Studies in the evening (didn't he just told me no classes for the time being?)
Now he's not just making me hate his mum, he's making me hate his church too.
Oh, and I've not mentioned a few pictures in his handphone of him hugging a ger and when queried, he said the ger is the gf/wife of a church fren and they all belonged to the same church and he was hugging her so titely cos their frens had dared them to behave as a couple for a day.
Now, which guy will bring his gf/wife to an outing with his frens and dare his fren and his wife to behave like a couple for the day?
After all these months, I know nothing of him, I dunnoe where he stays, I dunnoe his past, I dunnoe what he likes/ dislikes, I dunnoe anything about him at all.
I'm down with fever and migraine today and as usual, he didn't even call or sms me. When he did sms me and I told him I'm sick, he called and asked if I had dinner. When I said I hadn't, instead of offering to come bring me go see doc or go have diner or even asking me to remember to take medicine, he asked me to order Macdonalds.
I den told him that I'm sick and I shouldn't be having Macdonalds and I was hoping that he could bring me go have something soupy instead, he said ' I'll try to convince my mum to let me go out.'
Time den was bout 10pm and he's 30 this year.
Oh, btw, I only found out bout his past relationship after I did a search for his friendster profile and he has a blog there.
In it, his last r/s died cos he was dating this other ger while still attached to his ex, not daring to break up with her for fear that she would do something crazy?
He's turned me into this insecure person who sits around at home, waiting for his ever-absent calls/ sms. I've never felt so insecure and insignificant before.
When I ask him bout how he's treating me, he says it's cos he's still hurting from the last r/s and that he needs time to open up. But somehow, his refusal to let me know more bout him just make me even more suspicious.
The discovery of the blog din make it any better.
Am I being paranoid for thinking that he's just using his mum as a cover up for somebody else or is it really his mum? -
Hi Hi,
Thank you everybody for the advice.
Yeap yeap, I'm clear on what I need to do.
He asked me what days I have lessons on and he wants to send me to school.
I have half a mind to tell him not to bother.
Personally, I think he has very serious issues too.
And frankly speaking, the extent that he 'love his mother' frightens me.
Like what somebody mentioned, if a guy treats his mum well, he'll prob treat the wife well too. BUT, in this case, I'm kinda worried bout him siding his mum if suay suay his mum and me dun get along.
Den I confirm die till paikua wan....
Dui ma?
When I told my mum bout how shady that he's been, my mum also suggest that we do a check on him, maybe get PI or what. But if a r/s comes to that, I think really no point even going on in the 1st place liao. -
Haha... Cannot... Communication breakdown.... Thank you for the offer though....Originally posted by kopiosatu:i can recommend TS to go to thailand and find a nice guy there
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You only knew him since Aug, wah...want to get PI to investigate. If I were him, I also freak out. What's there to lose? I mean by giving up this r/s?
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Thats why I say no point lor.Originally posted by JackOT:You only knew him since Aug, wah...want to get PI to investigate. If I were him, I also freak out. What's there to lose? I mean by giving up this r/s?
1) In the 1st place, a r/s should be open, need not go to the stage where you need a PI to investigate on your partner.
2) if you really need to get a PI to investigate, it shows that something is wrong somewhere. In some cases, it's distrust. But in this case, it's 'no chance to trust'.
3) Hire PI I might as well just break it off, use the money go holiday maybe can find somebody better... *Tall, dark, eloquent, witty, humourous stranger.....*
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When I was reading your post I thought that he is some teenager in NS but 30....
Dump him and move on with your life. This guy has some serious issues -
Surprised you last so long...should have ended in long long ago.
~Cheers -
Haha... seriously, I think he behaves like an 18 year old.....Originally posted by elindra:When I was reading your post I thought that he is some teenager in NS but 30....
Dump him and move on with your life. This guy has some serious issues -
sekali he's married and his 'mother' is actually his wife!
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no one can stop u, good luck.... but u reali need to know more abt him b4 gng further...Originally posted by alegna_t13:Hi Hi,
Thank you everybody for the advice.
Yeap yeap, I'm clear on what I need to do.
He asked me what days I have lessons on and he wants to send me to school.
I have half a mind to tell him not to bother.
Personally, I think he has very serious issues too.
And frankly speaking, the extent that he 'love his mother' frightens me.
Like what somebody mentioned, if a guy treats his mum well, he'll prob treat the wife well too. BUT, in this case, I'm kinda worried bout him siding his mum if suay suay his mum and me dun get along.
Den I confirm die till paikua wan....
Dui ma?
When I told my mum bout how shady that he's been, my mum also suggest that we do a check on him, maybe get PI or what. But if a r/s comes to that, I think really no point even going on in the 1st place liao. -
Like this easy to check. go to ROM webby pay abit of money can check liao le.....Originally posted by kopiosatu:sekali he's married and his 'mother' is actually his wife! -
go do it...Originally posted by alegna_t13:Like this easy to check. go to ROM webby pay abit of money can check liao le..... -
with all this checking, there seems to be no reason for the relationship to go on.Originally posted by alegna_t13:Like this easy to check. go to ROM webby pay abit of money can check liao le..... -
That's why i'm not doing it (actually cos I giam dun wan to pay lar....)Originally posted by kopiosatu:with all this checking, there seems to be no reason for the relationship to go on.
Whatever it is, his deadline is this Sat. -
probably so wor.Originally posted by kopiosatu:sekali he's married and his 'mother' is actually his wife!
Even if he is not married, TS maybe want to buy him a Ninja Turtle toy to distract him from his mother? keke...
TS give up la...if he can't even think for himself, you think he is capable of taking care of u meh. -
He just called me, asked if I've eaten, how am I going to school, feeling better bo, want to go see doc or not.
I told him not eaten, dun need to see doc and maybe take cab to school.
Den he say he coming over to pick me up now.
Feel like 'accidentally' leave my comp on so that he can see this thread sia. -
no la..juz do a clean break with him..seriously l tink u deserve sumtinz better...Originally posted by alegna_t13:He just called me, asked if I've eaten, how am I going to school, feeling better bo, want to go see doc or not.
I told him not eaten, dun need to see doc and maybe take cab to school.
Den he say he coming over to pick me up now.
Feel like 'accidentally' leave my comp on so that he can see this thread sia.
There will be more problems if u two are still together...that is wad l tink bah -
Something sounds amiss - if he doesn't call/sms you and never replies to your calls/sms, how on earth could you two be dating to begin with?
In all seriousness, it certainly looks the "mother" and "church" is just an excuse for whatever he's up to behind your back - it's not rocket science to work that one out, is it?
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Hi all,
It's me again. This time, I'm not expecting any words of advice, consolence, pity or anything. Cos I noe that it was myself whom is responsible for the way things are now. I'm just whining so do ignore me if it bores you. I have nobody else to confide in, nobody else to talk to. I feel like crying but the tears refuse to come. Maybe even my tears noe that it's no point wasting themselves for this guy.
In the 1st post, I was deliberating on whether to leave this guy or not. However, I pulled a brake on it as his company is having a big situation now due to his poor management, his poor judgement skills, his ignorance to the ways of the business world, his refusal to heed good advice and his misplace of trust, hundreds of thousands of his company funds are unaccounted for, his staff are finger pointing but nobody wants to own up.
In short, his business is on the verge of folding unless his family agrees to loan him money to sustain the business.
Today, I woke up at 7am just so that I could go to his company and organise his accounts for him.
It all started pretty well until he realised the atrocities that his staff are commiting.
Anyway, I have this very very good fren, we would have been together if not for the fact that we didn't meet earlier, if not for the fact that I didn't want to break up his r/s with his gf.
So, when it came to the crunch of deciding on matters with regards to law, I called my fren who's a lawyer for help.
He gave me very good advice which he didn't have to, for he was not obliged in anyway. In his own words, he helped because of me and does not want to see me getting so stressed out by the whole matter.
So there I was, on the phone with my fren, seeking his advice, getting scolded by him for getting myself into this whole matter when he would have been more happy if I was spending my time playing maple at home, at least I can level up, not unlike this whole thankless mess.
Fast forward........
We decided on the course of action to take towards his errant employees and just when I was emailing their termination letters to his GM for record purposes, he told me ' Can you do this later when you get home? I need to rush off to have dinner with my family.' in front of his employees no less,and during this while, he was still in the midst of the discussion with his GM.
I just got so fed up with the fact that there you are, in the midst of the discussion and you're chasing me to pack up when I would have been done long before your conversation ended?
Anyway, after I finished packing the stuff, he was still in the midst of discussion and I busied myself with washing the cups, glasss, clearing the mss in the pantry that his staff had made and not cleared before going home.
Adter I finished everything, I just left the place. It's quite a distance to walk from his unit to the main road and by the time I reached the main road, he had already drove out to meet me.
He got out of the car and asked me what's wrong, that he wants to send me back. But I just asked him to go home and have dinner with his family, hailed a cab and went off.
He didn't even try following after the cab, or calling me or smsing me.....
It's gotten to the point whereby I'm just unhappy with him but I dunnoe for what. It's not anger anymore, it's not anything I can point out anymore.
I'm just so tired. Why the hell did I have to be an 'intelligent' ger who wants to help him get his business on the right track? I should have been a dumb stupid ger who is contented to stay at home and not ask him any questions and just keep quiet about everything.
I should stop doing this soon. I'll just stop after the termination. -
Guess mamma's boys need his Mum as his PA .. not u. LOL!Originally posted by alegna_t13:Hi all,
It's me again. This time, I'm not expecting any words of advice, consolence, pity or anything. Cos I noe that it was myself whom is responsible for the way things are now. I'm just whining so do ignore me if it bores you. I have nobody else to confide in, nobody else to talk to. I feel like crying but the tears refuse to come. Maybe even my tears noe that it's no point wasting themselves for this guy.
In the 1st post, I was deliberating on whether to leave this guy or not. However, I pulled a brake on it as his company is having a big situation now due to his poor management, his poor judgement skills, his ignorance to the ways of the business world, his refusal to heed good advice and his misplace of trust, hundreds of thousands of his company funds are unaccounted for, his staff are finger pointing but nobody wants to own up.
In short, his business is on the verge of folding unless his family agrees to loan him money to sustain the business.
Today, I woke up at 7am just so that I could go to his company and organise his accounts for him.
It all started pretty well until he realised the atrocities that his staff are commiting.
Anyway, I have this very very good fren, we would have been together if not for the fact that we didn't meet earlier, if not for the fact that I didn't want to break up his r/s with his gf.
So, when it came to the crunch of deciding on matters with regards to law, I called my fren who's a lawyer for help.
He gave me very good advice which he didn't have to, for he was not obliged in anyway. In his own words, he helped because of me and does not want to see me getting so stressed out by the whole matter.
So there I was, on the phone with my fren, seeking his advice, getting scolded by him for getting myself into this whole matter when he would have been more happy if I was spending my time playing maple at home, at least I can level up, not unlike this whole thankless mess.
Fast forward........
We decided on the course of action to take towards his errant employees and just when I was emailing their termination letters to his GM for record purposes, he told me ' Can you do this later when you get home? I need to rush off to have dinner with my family.' in front of his employees no less,and during this while, he was still in the midst of the discussion with his GM.
I just got so fed up with the fact that there you are, in the midst of the discussion and you're chasing me to pack up when I would have been done long before your conversation ended?
Anyway, after I finished packing the stuff, he was still in the midst of discussion and I busied myself with washing the cups, glasss, clearing the mss in the pantry that his staff had made and not cleared before going home.
Adter I finished everything, I just left the place. It's quite a distance to walk from his unit to the main road and by the time I reached the main road, he had already drove out to meet me.
He got out of the car and asked me what's wrong, that he wants to send me back. But I just asked him to go home and have dinner with his family, hailed a cab and went off.
He didn't even try following after the cab, or calling me or smsing me.....
It's gotten to the point whereby I'm just unhappy with him but I dunnoe for what. It's not anger anymore, it's not anything I can point out anymore.
I'm just so tired. Why the hell did I have to be an 'intelligent' ger who wants to help him get his business on the right track? I should have been a dumb stupid ger who is contented to stay at home and not ask him any questions and just keep quiet about everything.
I should stop doing this soon. I'll just stop after the termination.
Anyways.. since his business going bust , his staff are eating him out from the inside , his GM is as useless as him.. he is running a loose ship. And since he is not 'smart' enough to read ur interpretations. N dun expect a guy to chase after a cab.. if u hail a cab.. u go.. u go. Even i wont go after the cab.. its pointless at the point when u went into the cab.
I am not writnig to give advice or anything.. just the sudden urge to reply to this thread.. anyways..
Pull the plug.. let him sink. N while u are at it.. if i were u , i will shame his @ss in front of all his staff... abuot how badly he is running his ship.. slap him.. and then scold the rest of the staff for him.
I am sure he is a nice guy.. well, u decide. -
i'm not sure if he is a nice guy, but he muz be a damn useless mummy's boy who cant priorities or he is a cheat who cant prioritise.
i know you cant bear to leave him. give him ultimatum. meet his family, tat will ease you of your insecurities. if he doesnt, leave him.
About his company, who can help him if he doesnt want to help himself?! -
Honestly, the picture which you saw on his hp intimately with another gal, is a obvious giveaway already.
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i dun believe 30 yr old le still got curfew.
oh, he's rich ya..
rich men has no prob getting girls. -
his behaviour shows that he is dating multiple girls. It is so obvious.
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You are just part of his harem.Originally posted by norm:his behaviour shows that he is dating multiple girls. It is so obvious.